A Letter

Dear Colgate Baking Soda and Peroxide Toothpaste:

You are so perfectly wonderful, and it is a shame that I am squeezing your dregs out of the tube. Your slightly salty, yet refreshing, flavor will be dearly missed here, but I know that you live on in the toothpaste aisles of grocery stores across the United States.

Oh, WHY did I not think to pack more than one tube of you in my suitcase? Oh, HOW could I have been so shortsighted? Your delightful texture, so pasty and peroxide-y, is the perfect freshening substance, a cooling respite after a day full of garlic-y foods. (Mmmm, garlic! but yurgh, garlic...)

But wait, my dentally-hygienic love! I have hearkened upon your dear cousin, Colgate Total. Just as freshening, with 24 hour whitening/protection. Though he is lacking in taste and texture, he has the distinct advantage of constant presence. While you shall always hold a dear place in my heart, please know that I never meant to hurt you. There is just too much distance between us.

Sincerely,
DNorton